Thursday, August 11, 2005

Laughter Inciting Excerpt

This is from the book Adrian Plass, Sacred Diarist, Presents the Horizontal Epistles of Andromeda Veal, published in Britain in 1988. I was crying with laughter while reading. That is not an exaggeration, I promise. If I spontaneously burst out laughing anytime in the next few weeks for no apparent reason, those present should assume that I have just recalled a scene from the book (the one shown below or the one in which Adrian and Gerald go looking for a doll for a certain little girl, especially).

The following is one of my favorite passages. Adrian Plass is the character who is narrating this portion of the book through a letter (which contain a few entries from the sacred diary), and Gerald is his son. Leonard Thynn is a friend of the family.

Thursday
Thynn round tonight. Why doesn't he just move in and have done with it? Invited himself to go with Gerald to a meeting at some new local church. Asked which church it was. Gerald said it called itself the Holy and Apostolic True Church of the Abundant Revelation of Living Stones. Apparently it's a split from a break-away group which left the remnant of a disaffected portion of a dissenting faction from a fellowship that had separated itself from the original Holy and Apostolic True Church of the Abundant Revelation of Living Stones. According to Gerald, none of the present members realise that they've dissented themselves right back to the place where they started. I sometimes wonder if Gerald makes these things up...

Settled down after they'd gone out to plan my talk. Used a new concordance so that I can whizz from scriptural reference to scriptural reference like a real speaker. Managed to sort out two of my headings as 'Humility' and 'Holiness'. Bit stuck for a third, but it'll come!


Friday
Very difficult to work on my talk this evening. Thynn arrived at teatime and stayed until late. He and Gerald get very silly sometimes. Tonight they played Cluedo, sustituting the names of church members for the traditional ones. In the first game it turned out that Mrs Flushpool did it in the study with the candlestick; in the second one Richard Cook did it with a rope in the kitchen. Found all the cackling very off-putting. Eventually they noticed my tutting and asked what I was doing. Made the mistake of telling them I was searching for a third heading beginning with 'H'. I must be mad. They suggested Henry Cooper, Haggis, Horstead Keynes, Halitosis, Hippopotamus, Heat-rash, Ham rolls, and many, many more. Gerald doesn't seem to appreciate that this Spiritual Pride talk could be a foothold for me into the upper leadership of our church. Just to stop the flow of aitches I asked them how last night's meeting went.

Gerald said, 'You should've gone, Dad. It was good. Mostly for married people really.'

Thought how nice it was to see Gerald so serious for once. I said, 'What happened?'

Gerald said, 'Seven couples asked James Dobson into their lives.'

My son will end up as thunderbolt fodder, I swear he will...