Thursday, December 15, 2005

More software ranting

In the past, I've mentioned what I think of Microsoft Word, but I think I have failed to mention how much I loathe its Office Assistant. Time to remedy that.

We hates the Office Assistant.

No, Microsoft people, I do not want the Office Assistant to pop up and suggest how I might format this document. I've been using a computer since I was a preschooler, if not before. I know perfectly well how I want to format it; I would like the Assistant to please go away, leave me alone, and leave me alone on a consistent basis. That is why after I last had a major Word crisis, an inordinately painful experience necessitating the deletion and reinstallation of Office, I went through the default settings and unchecked those that annoy me. One of those was, naturally, the Assistant. I knocked it unconscious to put me out of my misery. Clearly, I didn't hit it on the head with a hard enough object.

We told it to leave then and never come back, but did it listen to us, precious? Eh? No, it did not — gollum — curse it, we hates it. And now we wants to crush it, the abominable Office Assistant, and kill it. Kill the tricksy thingses dead. Make it pay. Put its eyses out!

Okay — this may sound a bit of an extreme reaction, wanting it dead, but at 2 am, it doesn't take much for Office to provoke my inner Gollum. And I had specifically told it not to do this to me.